Make a long-distance friendship or relationship work - YorkBlog

Photo illustration ? Ashley May

Somewhere between the time I accepted a job in York, Pa. and my best friend Leah decided to go to Northeastern University of Law, I realized that I was, once again, headed into another long-distance relationship.

It?s the story of many 20-somethings: My best friend from high school went to college in Pennsylvania. I went to college in New York State. My boyfriend and I went to college four hours away from each other. He?s now in the military. I really moved away from friends and family when I participated in three study abroad programs as a college student.

I?m familiar with long distance, but I?m happy to say that I?ve maintained relationships with all of these loved ones.

More often than not, most 20-somethings have maintained at least one long-distance relationship. Those that have done this know that it?s not easy.

But, here?s how Leah, my law-school friend, and I are making it work:

1. We are dedicated. Leah and I talk or text almost every day. OK. That?s a lot. But, it?s the kind of friendship we have. I know she went to see a movie last night and I?ll call her today to ask her if it was worth seeing. She knows I went shopping on Saturday and she?ll expect to get a photo of what I bought. I know what her class schedule is and she knows when I?m out of work. She texts me when she can?t call me and emails me if neither works. She?ll step out of an event if she sees I?ve called her more than once. I do the same. If one person wasn?t on board with the friendship, this long-distance relationship wouldn?t work. But, because we both put in the effort and make ourselves available, it works.

2. We?ve got plans. While phone calls and Skype help make the distance easier to handle, face-to-face time is essential. Spending real time with my friend is the best time, even if it is few and far between. For us, I like to have plans on the calendar. It gives me something to look forward to.

3. We send cards. When my grandfather died, Leah sent a card. It wasn?t a huge deal, but it showed me she really cared. Most people my age would stop with a call or a Facebook message. When someone takes the time to send something in the mail, I feel like they really value the relationship. It?s simple, but it?s thoughtful. Sometimes thoughtful goes a long way.

Other links:

For those of you going into or already in a long-distance relationship with a boyfriend or girlfriend, AskMen says setting a time when the distance will end is essential. Also, be sure that communication ?increases substantially.?

HelloGiggles says watching a movie or TV show over the phone makes the distance between you both seem shorter,? because you are laughing and talking just like you would if your loved one was sitting right next to you. For a ?closer? experience, I?ve also done this through Skype.

Multiplatform journalist at the York Daily Record / Sunday News. York County native. Fashion enthusiast. Social media junkie. Follow me on Twitter @visitashley.

Source: http://www.yorkblog.com/twenty/2012/09/07/how-to-make-a-long-distance-friendship-work/

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